I Don't Think I Can Handle This
by trishaj48
Summary: I tossed this idea around in my head for a while. Join me in a life changing experience for one of my favorite CSI couples, you’ll be surprised at who steps in to help out. As always,I own nothing associated with CSI,others have that privilege .


_A while ago in CHANGES IN THEIR LIFE I asked my readers if Sara should be should be pregnant. Most of you said YES so I did. But aingeal1 put an idea in my head, this story is a result of that idea, thanks aingel1. I hope you all enjoy it._

Catherine was sitting in the ladies room crying as she looked at the results of the EPT she had just bought, "I can't handle this - I can't be pregnant at my age."

Sara heard the muffled cries and went to investigate. "Cath, what is it? What's wrong?" she asked, going over to her friend.

"I'm pregnant," Catherine cried. "But the test is negative," Sara said, taking the EPT stick form Catherine's hand.

"I missed my period. I have all the other symptoms I did when I was pregnant with Lindsay. The headaches, insomnia, tiredness, irritability, mood swings. My jeans don't fit right, I'm sure I have gained weight, and my breasts are tender," Catherine said, tears flowing freely.

"Cath," Sara said, "Make an appointment with my gynecologist. Her name is Sharon, she is one of the best."

Catherine took the number Sara offered her and promised to call.

"Splash some water on your face," Sara said, "Gil is looking for us." Catherine half smiled and thanked Sara.

On her way home Catherine called the number, made the appointment then decided to stop at the store and get the ingredients for Warrick's favorite meal, she knew she had been putting him through as much hell as she was her self.

Warrick and Catherine had married three years ago.

Catherine fixed the dinner, set the table and had candles ready to light, then took a long hot relaxing bubble bath.

Warrick reluctantly opened the door, he never knew what mood Catherine would be in. He smiled at the smell of roses and dinner, his eyes lit up when he seen the candles and his manhood started to react at the sight of Catherine in a negligee he had never seen before.

"Hi," she said, smiling. "Hello," he said, taking her in his arms and kissing her, "You must have had a good day?" Catherine just smiled, "Let's not talk about that, let's just eat. Then I have a surprise for you."

That night Catherine was like a wild woman, she had bought some toys and found new ways to use them. They were well into their sixth hour when Warrick said something he never thought he would say, "I can't keep up with you, you need to slow down or I swear I'll have a heart attack." Catherine reluctantly gave in and let Warrick fall asleep. Catherine, however, could not sleep.

Two days later Catherine sat in Sharon's office as she shifted through the results of all the tests that had been run. Catherine could not sit still, she shifted in the chair.

"Catherine," Sharon said, "You are not pregnant." "But I have all the signs," Catherine said.

"You are in what we call premenopause*****. It is a word we use to describe the time leading up to menopause. As I am sure you know, menopause is when the levels of hormones become lower and more erratic, and that has an effects on your body."

Catherine looked at her, stunned, "But I'm not that old!"

"Premenopause symptoms can start in women as young as 37 or 38. It effects every woman differently," Sharon continued, "I like to try a more natural ways of dealing with premenopause before using pills. I would like you to change your diet, include a lot of calcium rich foods such as milk, cheese, and green, leafy vegetables and try to exercise regularly, if this doesn't work there are some medications I can prescribe. Here are a few pamphlets on it and I know there is a wealth if information you can find on your computer. Call me or come back in if you have any questions. And remember, the only foolish question is one not asked."

Catherine still could not believe her ears as she walked out the office. All the way home her head was swimming.

"Menopause!" she said to herself, "Only OLD women go through that. My life may as well be over, Warrick will never want an OLD woman as his wife."

When she walked into the door Warrick looked at her, "How did things go?"

Catherine looked at Warrick, tears flowing freely and ran to their room, slamming the door.

"Now what?" he wondered to himself. Warrick walked to their room, "Hon, what is it?" Catherine just turned away and cried all the more. Warrick went to her and tried to hold her.

"Get away from me!" she screamed. Poor Warrick was totally confused, just last night she could not get enough and now - well if looks could kill, he would be laying dead on the floor. Warrick threw his hands up in the air and walked out the door.

Catherine had fallen into a state of depression, nothing could lift her from it. Gil had told her to take sometime off work, "You are more of an liability then an asset recently."

Warrick tried to get her to talk to him but she would have nothing to do with him, their bedroom had become a freezer.

Warrick decided to stop at a bar for a drink before going home. He had one, then two, it was half way through the third one when he noticed a beautiful young woman making eyes at him.

"What the hell," Warrick said, to himself. He picked up his drink and headed over to where she was sitting. Brandy laughed at his jokes, stroked his face and smiled.

Warrick was starting to get those feelings again. "I live just around the corner," Brandy said, as she stroked his manhood through his jeans. Warrick's manhood was alive and aching to get out.

Warrick was not even thinking about Catherine as he pulled Brandy into a passionate kiss, all the was thinking about was his raging hard, and how bad it needed to be released, "Ok."

He took her hand and headed out the door.

Across town, in a different bar, Catherine sat playing with a drink she had ordered almost five minutes ago. "It is not going to jump in your mouth by it's self," Catherine heard a familiar voice say. Catherine jumped.

"I'm sorry," Heather said, "I did not mean to startle you. May I sit?" Catherine nodded and Heather sat and ordered her drink.

"What is wrong? Did my suggestions not work?" It was Heather who had given her the proper toys to use and the best way to use them.

Catherine broke out in tears. "Let's sit over there and talk," Heather suggested, knowing the bar was not the place to have a personal conversation.

Catherine opened up to Heather, told her everything, "How can I be a woman now."

A soft giggle escaped Heather, "Catherine, life doesn't end with menopause. It only gets better."

Catherine looked at her. "I thought like I may as well just kill myself," Heather said, "But I joined this wonderful support group. With the help of my doctor and the group support I was able to work through it. We have a meeting tomorrow night, join me." Catherine smiled and agreed to go.

Back in Brandy's apartment kisses and caresses were becoming hotter by the second. Brandy was topless and beautiful. "Touch me here," she said, taking Warrick's hand and laying it on her breasts. Warrick smiled, his skin tingled at the softness. It was then that it hit him, the bedroom light reflected off his wedding band.

Warrick pulled his hand away, "What the hell am I doing!" Warrick grabbed his shirt and quickly walked away. "You are one big jackass," he said to himself, "If you need it that bad jack off. Don't ruin the best thing that ever happened to you."

Catherine was sitting on the sofa when he got home, "We need to talk." Warrick sat next to her, "Before you say anything I have a confession to make." Warrick told her what he almost did.

"It is partly my fault," Catherine said.

Catherine told Warrick everything that had been going on and about her plans to visit the group. Warrick pulled her into his arms, "You should have told me sooner. We will get through this - together."

A month after Catherine started her support group meetings things were starting to improve, Warrick was even attending them with her.

With the help of her friends and some adjustments in diet and the medicine her doctor prescribed, Catherine was able to go back to work and things were back to normal at the Brown house.

Catherine lay nestled in Warrick's arms after they had made love. "I wanted to give you a child," Catherine confesses.

Warrick stroked her hair, "We can always adopt. There are a lot of little ones out there that need a home."

EPILOG

Gil and Sara threw a party for Warrick and Catherine's fourth anniversary. Warrick stood and took Catherine's hand, after getting everyone's attention he said, "Cath and I have an announcement to make. The papers have been finalized and the adoption is official." Six months ago Warrick and Catherine had started adoption papers on a six year old boy and his five year old sister, who's parents had been killed in an auto accident. Everyone offered their congratulations. Warrick kissed Catherine,"Our family is complete." Catherine smiled, "Life is good."

***= I am no expert in this field, so nothing I say can be taken as medically accurate. I just drew on my personal experience and that of some friends of mine. Always depend upon your doctor to diagnose your condition. The information in this story is not intended for use as a substitute for a physician. Please consult your health worker if you have any concerns.**


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